I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
