I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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