So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
