I must be too annoying 4 u.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
