Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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