i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
