But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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