Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
