Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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