why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
