your parents love me but you hate me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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