bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
