if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize