I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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