We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
