I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Come on in and take your pants off
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