Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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