Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
