The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
