Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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