taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
