why didn't you poke me back
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
