paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
