dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
