Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
