So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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