You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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