i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
