i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
