Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My dick has a subreddit
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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