Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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