fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
