you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
