Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
