What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
