I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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