I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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