What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
