I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
