Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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