genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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