He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
