If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
