That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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