My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So vagazzling was a success
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
