I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
