omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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