It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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