Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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