i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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