I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude i'm inner monologue high
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
