You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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