living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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