if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
