none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't deserve a penis
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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