there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
