I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
