There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
