Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
