i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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