It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
