I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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