I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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