Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
